So What Went Wrong this Time? I married a Psychopath..
Maria was born in 1961 and was brought up in Athens. To try to understand Maria Dolianitis, it is necessary to be aware of the history and the mental state of this woman, who has suffered much illness in her life, had a problematic and abusive childhood, has had many psychological evaluations, and is also addicted to Cannabis. When I first met Maria I knew that she was very ill and had also been diagnosed with Lupus many years previously: she had to have stomach injections every day. She also had a history of mental illness following the very difficult childhood in Athens.
I thought that I could make a real difference to her life and that I could protect her, and despite the language barrier, we could live happily together. Indeed, this was a reality for the early years of our relationship, but now I realise that too much damage had been done and that maybe she should have been committed to an asylum many years ago.
Finally, I blame myself for being naive, too trusting and very stupid in ever getting involved.
This woman has major psychiatric problems, but I know now that she is also very smart at projecting herself as the innocent victim: nothing is ever her fault, and I am sure she can mislead most professional psychiatrists. And of course she is in Greece and not England, and so later in the marriage when things turned sour, it was very difficult for me to defend myself and correct any untruths. I am not sure why she turned on me: all that I had done is to help her and her unpleasant family, and save her life on several occasions. She will twist any truth to her advantage: she will lie outright and has in her mind a totally different scenario to the reality. I can now only conclude that she is too damaged as a person and loves only her son – I do not believe she ever loved me. I was like a father for her who could give her things and protect her. She has no idea or concept about what is necessary between two people in a life partnership. Once the money ran out, and she realised that as the reality, she left me.
HOW IT BEGAN
I first met Maria in 2011/2012 when I was visiting from the UK. She was an attractive woman, and I was sorry for her because she had no money, and was living and working in Kefalas, Apokoronas in Crete. She was also very sick, and on one particular day in the morning – this was December 2012 – I saved her life for the first time.
I was staying at a rented Villa in Kefalas, and soon after I had first met Maria, she nearly died from a major blood outage: recognising that she was near death, I drove her to the nearby Vamos Health Centre in Apokoronas, where she was diagnosed as critically ill and needing emergency treatment. She was immediately taken by ambulance to Chania Hospital, where she spent many weeks in intensive care before being transferred first to Heraklion and then as a patient to Athens where she was near her family.
She recovered in Athens, and because I was attracted to her and admired her fighting spirit and “will to live”, I invited her to Crete in May 2013 to stay with me for some weeks to recuperate.
After this, our relationship grew, and although I had to return to the UK, and was still married at the time, I supported her financially from the UK so that she could afford her medication and could live independently. She had the use of a small apartment in Vamos provided by George Hadjodakis, her previous business partner in a well known bistro bar in Vamos called the Liakoto, which closed down in 2011.
Maria was addicted to Cannabis and has been so for many years since she suffered from Lupus and other debilitating illnesses: she told me that on medical advice, she began smoking Cannabis more than 20 years previously as it had a beneficial effect on her Lupus and reduced the symptoms associated with this condition. Although I realised it was technically against the Law to smoke Cannabis, there are medical exemptions, and besides, it is also a matter of common knowledge that many people in Greece have this habit.
2013 – 2016
I gave up my life in the UK to be with Maria. We lived together first in my rented villa in Kefalas and then in Vamos for one year, and I helped her with – and provided finance for – a new creperie business in Vamos (Dollys shop) – which we hoped would be a success. Maria’s sister Eugenie and husband Dimitris had been invited to come to Crete and help run the new business.
In 2014 the shop was closed because Maria was too ill to continue to work and I looked after her and paid for all her medical bills.
In 2014 I was divorced in the UK from my English wife and received some money from the sale of our property in the UK which I planned to live on, with a new life together with Maria in Crete.
After living in Vamos and then Douliana by renting, we moved to the present house in Kefalas in 2014 which was arranged by Stavros Stavroulakis, (who was later jailed in 2019 for drug related offences).
We were married on May 31st 2015 at the house in Kefalas with a local civic ceremony – performed by the mayor from Vamos
In 2015, she was diagnosed as needing urgent major heart surgery: of course I paid for this and she had a replacement heart valve operation at the Onassiou hospital Athens in December 2015. For 3 months after this to March 2016 I found another property in Athens and nursed her to recovery myself. I had no help from any of her family or friends or her son. During this time, she had two chronic attacks of fever and was again close to death, but I looked after her and she recovered.
Because we needed to monitor carefully her INR (blood readings) so that the daily post operation medication could be correctly prescribed (normally a blood sample is taken and analysed which Maria found to be painful) I personally researched and bought a new INR reader machine from a German manufacturer, and my son flew from the UK to Athens to deliver this to us.
In April 2016 we returned to the house in Kefalas.
2016 – 2019
Up until this time (April 2016) the marriage was OK – I believe Maria had appreciated all that I had done for her. She had recovered and was now in good health – she only needed a regular daily supply of pills.
But soon after we had returned to Kefalas, the marriage became a disaster: she smoked a great deal of cannabis – which of course was paid for with my savings – and if she did not get the supply, and if everything was not done for her, she became extremely violent disruptive and psychopathic. There was no sex. She did not want to work or help in any way to bring income to the marriage.
In 2015/2016 I advised her to apply for an early State Pension which she was entitled to because of her illness previously – she did nothing about this until 2019 – when she understood that I had no more money after spending it on her, her cannabis addiction, supporting her family and being defrauded of some 55,000 euros by Stavroulakis and 25000 euros to one of her friends here in Kefalas – Manolis Karabinis – who had said he would make work for Maria in his Kafe Neo in Kefalas if we put money into his business.
There were three other events which were costly and unnecessary and caused me great stress, which ultimately confirmed the breakdown of the marriage
Unwanted Puppies from Maria’s Son Marios
In September 2016 I agreed to help Maria’s son living in Athens, who had stupidly allowed his dog to have puppies: there were four puppies which I agreed to help look after ONLY for a short time until Marios and his mother found a new home for them. I did not want any dogs. I spent a great deal of money converting the house and garden to be “dog proof “. Maria and her son both lied and did nothing to re-home these dogs, and they caused a great deal of damage in the home in Kefalas, and now – after many vet bills and other expenses – they are still here. Maria did very little or nothing at all to help with these dogs from her son.
Accused of being Homosexual
At the same time in 2016 I had found a man from Syria – married to a Greek woman and living in Chania – who was very helpful to me for work I needed doing in the house and garden – rewiring, solar panel installation etc.. For some inexplicable reason, Maria became very jealous of Ibrahim from Syria because I spent time discussing with him the work needed and his family back in Syria (he spoke good English): she accused me of being “gay” and hated this Syrian so much that one day in the house she screamed abuse at him and ripped off her clothes in front of him, I was extremely embarrassed and angry and of course this ended the work with the Syrian.
Supporting Her Family
In December 2016 Maria’s sister and brother were living and working in Crete, and looking after her elderly mother and had been evicted from their apartment in Vamos because they had not paid any rent: I agreed that they should live with us which they did for four months: in April 2017 I arranged a home for them in Kefalas at a rental of 600 euros per month because it was not possible for us all to live together and with four dogs. It was agreed that they would pay me back but of course this never happened. For helping her mother and family, all I received from Maria was verbal abuse. Attachhed below is a copy of a letter I received from her Brother-in-Law in April 2017, Dimitris Galanis, and my emailed reply.
During 2017 Maria became more and more abusive to me and would shout for hours, stopping me from working sleeping or relaxing. she would attack me and break things, throw clothes out of the door, let all the dogs in the house and do everything she could to provoke me. I have photos and some video of this behaviour. I soon understood that the plan was to make me so angry that I would hit her so that she could call the police and make a charge against me. There were indeed a few “fights” but I tried always to subdue her and never to hit her. I had no-one to help me with this major problem and could not understand why she was doing this. I could only conclude that she needed psychiatric help which I tried to persuade her to take.
In June 2017 she burnt in front of me the original of the rental agreement for the Kefalas house and some other important papers she found on my desk. About the same time she threw on the floor and broke the expensive INR reader I had organised for her when we were in Athens and which she needed to monitor her health.
Attempted Suicide and the Nightmarish Aftermath
Some time later in 2017 Maria’s mother died: after some weeks in October 2017 Maria tried to kill herself. On that day she drank alcohol and over-dosed on her mother’s medication. I took her – with a mutual friend called Pari Franceskakis who lived in Vamos and was a witness to all that happened – to the Vamos Health centre where they tried to remove the alcohol and pills from her stomach.
All this time Maria was very abusive to the doctors and staff: they could do nothing for her and she was forcibly taken by ambulance to Chania hospital. I followed in the car – the time now was about 9 pm. After many hours – and much more abuse from Maria – the doctors took her out of the emergency ward to a bed in the corridor of the hospital – the time now was about 2 in the morning.
I asked the doctors what should now happen. and another doctor – who I believe was a psychologist – came and tried to talk with Maria. Again Maria was very abusive to her and the doctor could not discuss anything with her: I asked the doctor what could be done and she told me that there were two choices: either Maria should be entered into the psychiatric hospital or she should go home since the danger to her life was now over.
Unfortunately for me, I made the wrong decision and decided to take her home because I still cared for her: in the car – on the main road – she started again to be abusive – screaming at me and opening the car window and passenger door and throwing things out of the car. She also tried to hit me and to actually kick me while I was driving – endangering our lives and other people on the road.
As soon as I could safely do so, I stopped the car close to Vamos – just outside Kalives and off the main road – and ejected her from the car. I then called the friend Pari in Vamos and asked her to please collect Maria because I could not safely take her any further. Luckily for us, Pari was a good friend and collected Maria in her car even though this was 3 in the morning: I had stopped to check Pari was coming before driving back to Kefalas, and when I saw her car on the road, I called her and asked that she take Maria to her home for the night. Unfortunately Maria did not want this and she was brought to Kefalas by Pari.
Time for a Psychiatrist.
After this episode, which Maria said that she did not remember, I told her that she needed psychiatric help urgently because this behaviour could not continue: she agreed and started to see a psychologist/psychiatrist called Katarina working at the Vamos Health Centre, and for some time I helped by taking Maria to the Centre for what I hoped would be beneficial for her and our failed relationship.
Maria’s Plan to Involve the Police.
Unfortunately, nothing changed: the abuse to me from Maria continued throughout 2018. Some days would be ok and she would do the things around the house that you would expect from a wife: other days she would do absolutely nothing and repeat hours of verbal and physical abuse all with – now I understand – the aim of making my life miserable and trying to provoke me into hitting her so that she could call the police and file charges.
In October 2018 she disappeared from the house for one month and I understand now that she was in a woman’s sanctuary or shelter in Chania. I was only happy that she was not in Kefalas Unfortunately she then wanted to return and there was nothing I could do to prevent this happening.
In May 2019 she filed a complaint about me with the police and I had to attend the police station in Vrisses.
Things continued to be very stressful for me in 2019 with the same behaviour from Maria, except that she did absolutely nothing to help, and used the house as as a hotel – sometimes not returning for a few days. Of course she had keys for the house, and I provided food and paid for her mobile phone and medical precriptions. In April 2019 Stavroulakis cut electricity and water supplies to the house, which caused me immense stress, and I needed Maria out of the house permanently.
Luckily for me, this has now happened and I will be issuing Divorce proceedings as soon as I am able to do so.
email evidence 2017 -2018
The truth of the matter is that in this relationship, I was the victim of abuse and assault for many years as is evidenced in part by copies of the four emails below.
emails 1 to 3 were emails asking for help and sent to her brother-in-law Dimitris Galanis who lived nearby at the time.
email 4 was sent to her son Marios who had either been lied to by his mother or – more likely – was part of the conspiracy.
Of course I received no help from this dysfunctional and unpleasant family, which now I understand has never seen me as a member of the family, but only as someone who could provide financial help.
April 22nd 2017 @ 16:10 to Dimitris Galanis email@example.com Brother in Law
Unfortunately, and as usual, you only hear or listen to one side of the story.
It is not my style and I do not think it is correct to involve family in personal issues – Maria should not call you every time we have an argument. For your information, she tried to break many things last night (but did not burn any more contracts, thank God). I am the one with blood today and not Maria…. she has done nothing all day and is currently talking with Pari.
I do not believe I have to prove any more how much I love Maria – I think the last 3 years have shown that – but the truth is that I am not able to continue being responsible for trying to do everything for someone who appreciates nothing and tries to break everything good and constructive that I try to do. This is the behaviour of a spoilt and unpleasant child – not the behaviour of a wife – and this is my big problem with her and why I wanted her to see a psychologist for the sake of our relationship. About how husbands and wives are supposed to be with each other – unfortunately I am sure the relationship was not discussed, which is the entire point for me of meeting with a psychologist…..why does she get so angry? why does she believe that it does not matter how bad a thing she does – and how many times – to her husband, but expects unconditional love and forgiveness for everything….
I am committed to our agreement – please do not let Maria try and give you any stress for this. Unlike my wife, I keep my promises and I will always wish and do the best for you and Evgenia.
Warm regards Richard
May 2nd 2017 @ 17:01 to Dimitris Galanis Brother in Law to Maria
Sorry to trouble you – thank you for last night. I am e-mailing you rather than phoning you because it is easier for us both I think.
The problem I have with Maria continues – now it is one week of continual screaming, and poison and abuse from her, making my jobs extremely difficult if not impossible, while of course she does nothing in the house, or for the dogs (unless she wants to do something of course). The plan for Maria I believe is the same as before – to try and get me so angry that she can run to the police and say that I hit her and what a bad man I am and how she was right all the time 🙁
Now I am a very bad person because we came to eat at Xaso Mari as if now I am stealing money from you because we did not pay!!!! Of course she is trying all the time to destroy any relationship and trust between me and the family – because now in her mind I am the “devil” and gay 🙁
And why? – because I am not now doing whatever she wants.
The main problem for her now is Ibrahim – she is putting all the blame for our failing relationship on this man, and all the time I hear bullshit from Maria about how I had a homosexual relationship with this Syrian guy while she was in Athens last summer, while I was working very hard to get the house ready for four dogs, Of course this is not true – I have never been gay and I am sure Ibrahim is not gay either. But the truth is of no importance to Maria. After months of continuous poison and lies, I started to protect myself from this abuse by agreeing with all the bullshit I heard.
As I said in my previous e-mail, I really need some help from you and Nannie with Maria – and I hope you will come tomorrow so we can all talk privately – including Maria of course. She has to know from you that she cannot play with peoples lives and businesses as she is doing – she needs to fix our relationship and the way to start is to stop all the poison – if she can.
Best wishes to you and Nanny
May 3rd 2017 @ 18:03 to Dimitris Galanis Brother in Law to Maria
Sorry to trouble you again – appreciate you have business. However, Maria has just broken/smashed the INR reader needed regularly for her tests – I have had abuse from her all day – I fear that without someone else talking with her, this situation is out of control 🙁
Richard xx (as you see from the previous e-mail, I had hoped for a meeting today..) I need help here.
August 7th 2018 @ 21:30 Extract from email to Marios Vlachos @ firstname.lastname@example.org
……On this day (October 2017), Manolis (Karabinakis) was at home here in the morning with us both, and we could see what Maria was doing – drinking alcohol and taking her mother’s pills. Your mother was past “reason” (more out of her mind than normal) and should probably under other circumstances have been taken to an asylum: ask Manolis. In the afternoon I called Pari (Frantzeskakis) to come and help, and talk with your mother – Maria had taken something more, and we tried to make her drink salt in water to make her sick and evacuate the pills from the stomach (my idea). This was not enough though to prevent her losing coherence and I decided to take her to Vamos Health Centre, and Pari – as the good friend she is – came too even though she had other commitments.
At the Vamos Health Centre, now some time in the late afternoon/early evening, they tried to get your mother to tell them exactly what she had taken without success: next they tried for several hours to make her take voluntarily and then by force something which would clear her stomach – ask Pari
After this, they said that because Maria was such a difficult patient, and they could not be sure they had cleared the stomach, and because she was abusive, your mother was physically (i.e. not voluntarily) put into an Ambulance and taken to Chania hospital. Of course, she told me to “fuck off” etc as normal, but I followed the ambulance and was there by her bedside when they admitted her at about 9 p.m. (does this scenario sound familiar to you?)
Many hours later – I was at her bedside all the time – at about 2 in the morning? – she was removed to a bed outside the original ward because she was out of danger, and I was told we were now waiting for the hospital psychologists to visit and assess her condition. When they came, your mother was unbelievably rude and it was clear that they did not want to keep her. I asked one of the female psychologists who spoke good English what options there were, as I thought she should stay in the hospital until she was fully recovered. The psychologist told me that as your mother had no intention of staying in the hospital there were only two choices. The two choices were (1) Involve the police and get an order to have Maria forcibly taken to an area for mentally disturbed patients attempted suicides etc, or (2) to take her home.
By now it was 2 or 3 a.m. I decided to take her home even though I dreaded the thought , because she was still manic.
On the main road from Chania, she started being extremely abusive and to throw things out of the car. This quickly turned to physical violence – she was hitting me as I drove the car. She could easily have killed us both. When I reached Kalives, and was coming up the hill to Vamos, she started kicking the steering wheel, kicked me in the face and kicking anything else reachable. I stopped the car, forced her out in the interests of our own safety, and then called Pari as I drove to Vamos, explained what had happened and where she was and asked her to please go and collect Maria from the spot.
Pari did that – for which I am very grateful – but that was not the end of the problem, because unfortunately Maria then wanted to come home to Kefalas and not stay with Pari as I had hoped for the rest of that night – I had had enough by then and had hoped I could have one or two hours to myself, but it was not to be.
The truth is Marios, you ungrateful unappreciative boy, that I loved your mother at the time and did everything I could, and she should really have been “committed” to an asylum for a period. Many husbands would have walked away after this one episode, let alone many other previous unpleasant experiences too many of which to list here..
I did not walk away or get her “committed” to an asylum – I gave her yet another chance to show me that this would never happen again. So many chances, so many disappointments ….
And after this, what bullshit did she tell you? And you believed it all???
You and your mother owe me a great deal Marios – I have saved her life two or three times and paid for a new heart, acted as unpaid and unappreciated nurse for 3 months in Athens after the operation – what a nightmare that was – restored her health and suffered months of abuse – for which you care nothing. And you have always known the truth about your psychotic mother – are you secretly ashamed of her? Never can you repay me for what I have done for you both. My life with your mother has been a nightmare, and I now regret that I ever got involved with her.
It is unbelievable to me now how unloving and unlovable Maria is – maybe because the money has finished?
You deserve each other.
The Ultimate Betrayal. How the Conspiracy to Defraud Began
Despite the violence and abuse I suffered from Maria for several years, I never hit her and any “injuries” she claims to have suffered in her attempt to discredit me were self inflicted.
It is now clear to me that the marriage was failing from 2016, and that her plan was then to constantly try to provoke me into hitting her so that she could call the police and cause trouble. I have personal videos and photos taken during this time as proof of her psychotic behaviour and the damage this woman caused to me and the house.
As a result of this violence, and because I suspected that there was a link, I had told her that I would no longer support her Cannabis addiction
What is for me very difficult to accept is that I was the target in a conspiracy involving three people – all connected by Cannabis. My own wife Maria, Manolis Karabinis and Stavros Stavroulakis. All three colluded together.
In 2017 and 2018 my wife attempted to embarrass me with lies of physical violence to the local police, and the plan presumably was that she thought that this would mean more money for her in any subsequent divorce settlement.
When she knew that I had no more money in 2019, she left me and went to Athens, for which I was very grateful.
In 2017, Stavroulakis with the support of Maria eventually persuaded me to loan him 50,000 euros to support his Holiday Property Business. Again I now realise that there was never any intention to repay this money, but I am sure that Maria benefitted by receiving Cannabis from Stavroulakis as she had done from 2014.
In 2018, Maria and Manolis Karabinis devised a plan to defraud me of 25000 euros, which was to be used ostensibly to rebuild the Kefalas Kafeneio, supported by a legal agreement known as a KOIIN.sep. I realise now that Manolis never had any intention of repaying this money, and that some of the loans were used to supply cannabis to Maria.